Welcome to the Fool’s Gold Advice Column for Smarties. It’s just like “Dear Abby,” only with deeper expletives.

This week, our topic is: TIPPING.

What is tipping? How can you perfect its finer points without being a complete chumbucket? What else annoys me? Find out — and send your own questions to the Advice Column for Smarties! — on the New Mexico Mercury and The KC Post.

(Featured image of the USPS mail truck — which factors in, I promise — copyright David Guo/CC. Tip calculator copyright KayVee.INC/CC.)